It's So Hard to Love You by Bill Klatte

Author:Bill Klatte
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781608826872
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications

Communication That Works

This chapter is about communicating with your troubling loved one. Communication is a huge part of any relationship—an invisible link between people that transmits each one’s thoughts and feelings. The ways in which we employ that communication link can move us closer together or keep us further apart.

Communication is part skill, part art. It is learned from our parents and other caregivers as we grow up and is affected by the choices we make as adults. It’s highly complex on one hand and amazingly simple on the other.

As long as you express yourself in a respectful way, you always have the right to say what you think. When you tell your truth respectfully you are not responsible for other people’s reactions or feelings. They are. If they overreact, it’s their responsibility. If they’re hurt or angry, they are responsible for dealing with their feelings. This is true of all the people in your life.

There may be times when you have to say things that others don’t want to hear. Difficult things happen in life, and sometimes difficult truths have to be told. This is part of human existence, pure and simple. But you have a choice in how you tell those difficult truths. You can be aggressive and disrespectful or speak assertively and respectfully.

The goal of healthy communication is to say your truth honestly and assertively, even when others don’t like what you say. If you don’t speak up, you can become a victim, keeping the truth to yourself out of fear. Manipulative people thrive on that. If you allow yourself to believe you’re responsible for their feelings, they’ll fault you for everything. And why wouldn’t they? If you don’t stand up for yourself, you give them permission to blame you.

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